What have I gotten myself into?

I started a gig dog sitting for a woman that has 4 large black labs. Last night was my first night and it was, ....interesting. I will post about that more later when I get some pictures of them.

But I wanted to post a few more derby pics. We had a scrimmage last Thursday and I was on the black team. It was a great game. My derby Mama England told me that I was doing awesome jamming which made me feel great. Here is me with a few of my mates, Mal, Manna, Scarlett O'Hairpulla, and Launchpad McCrash.

Derby Mamma Mannarama talking with me about strategy. Manna formerly played for the Salt City Derby Girls on the Leave it To Cleavers' team. She is an amazing player and funny as hell.

Anna, Mom and Nina came to watch. There are not many spectators at our games so they were quite obvious and ridiculous. They were all cheering me on every time I was in a jam. Even when I wasn't the jammer. My derby mates were getting the biggest kick out of it. Here is a pic of me and my little cheering section. Nina wanted to do a sign which was cute. It is now hanging on the wall in my bedroom.

We won with a score of 130 to 110.

I'm sure it was due to the positive mojo from the crowd.

Go Black!

Yorkshire Terror #K9

That is Cecilia's Derby name. She comes to lots of practices and loves the attention. I will have to get her a jersey and some fishnets. Here are some more pics from last Thursday. Lots of falling. Lots of laughing. A little vaudeville?

Skating turned into a little bit of dancing.

Drew Fairywhore, Mal and Launchpad McCrash.

Immediately after Launchpad and I had agreed that

we are extremely effective blockers.

Leaning drill with FairyWhore.

Attempting to push the other girl off the track.

We were practicing "Method Skating" to get into character for scrimmages.

(I was pretty much faking this drill.

I could have knocked her across the warehouse she's so small.)

This was entirely on purpose.....yeah... entirely.

Helmets are a great invention, otherwise I would have kicked

Lauchpad in the head with my skate.

Photos courtesy Jason Santti. A.K.A Mr. Ego

Make new friends. Knock them down.

So a few notable things to update since last years post.

1. I have a new nephew. His name is Emmett and he was begat of Allison. He's cute of course. Actually he is a much cuter newborn then I have ever seen. Newborns are generally ugly little creatures to me until they are at least a month old. Here he is over 1 month so you can't really compare, but he was cute fresh out of the womb too. Allison had him at home. She thinks she's bad ass. I agree.

2. I started Roller Derby. My name is Mal. For a few reasons, one of them french, and one of them Nathan Fillion. My number is 23th. Mainly because I find typos humorous. Also could have been 22rd or 24nd. But 23th was easier to say.

I heart Roller Derby. It has been an amazing experience that I am loving. I joined a rec league in Salt Lake called the Red Rockettes. It was a 12 week session in which you learn to skate and learn the skills needed to pass a minimum skills test which enables you to play in scrimmages. I learned. I passed. I play. We completed the first 12 week session and we started the second last week. Every Thursday I go to Derby with the Red Rockettes and every Tuesday I go to an endurance/strategy/hitting practice that the Wasatch Roller Derby league so graciously invited us to attend. I love these girls and it is odd for me to say that. I am generally an anti-social creature and I don't make friends quickly so it is odd for me to instantly have this huge support system of women that are so welcoming, so interesting and fun as hell. I gained 40 facebook friends in a month and I do not add facebook friends unless I have at least had several great interactions with someone. I am having a great time.

See...

I am in grey skirt in this one. Going for a block to Ruby Rocket.

Going to try to block Primrose Wrath. Bandita had already had it covered.

Hip whip drill with Sugarplum Scary.

Learning valuable nuggets of wisdom from Derby Mama England.

And my favorite derby photo so far. The epic fall. That's me, on the ground in the black helmet. Margie Ram went down with me. I got right back up, but you know it is a good one when all of the spectators and players let out a huge gasp. I love their faces.

That being said, I am having a bit of a dilemma figuring out how to reconcile my derby time and new friends with my family and old friends. They don't have much in common and wouldn't be in the same circles. I can't imagine putting my mom in the same room as "Drew Fairywhore" who I adore.

Anyway....

Today is Thursday. Thursday Derby Day.

Here are some of my mates. Some in the group include, Kick Sass, Launchpad McCrash, Gyro, England's Glory, Scarlett O'Hairpulla, Drew FairyWhore, Rubber Raw, D.D. Diamond, Bruiser Ego, Temper-Edict and Mannarama.

Dr. No

Anna reminded me that it is time for my annual blog post, so you can blame her.

Warning: Political propaganda to follow.

I long for the days when I couldn't care less about politics. Damn you Ron Paul for making me give a crap! I voted for Ron in the 2008 primary and wrote him in for the General Election. I even registered as a Republican in order to vote for him. That is huge for me. I have never registered with a political party and cringe with affiliating with the GOP for sure. (I also refuse to sign a 2 year cell phone contract.)

Fox News/Shawn Hannity/Bill O'Reilly HATE him which is about the best endorsement I can think of. Jon Stewart respects him and has praised his consistent principles which is the 2nd best endorsement I can think of. He is against the "war on terror", "the war on drugs", the IRS, the Federal Reserve and in favor of withdrawing from the UN. He voted against the war, against the bill to Define marriage, he believes in legalizing marijuana, and is friggin' educated about foreign policy. He has never voted for an unbalanced budget and he will not support legislation which is not consistent with The Constitution (Want to change it? Okay, they're called Amendments). Hence his nickname as Dr. No. Whether or not I agree with his personal social views (he is pro-life and is not a supporter of gay marriage) doesn't matter, he would not make a vote that gives the Federal Government the right to choose for you.

So at the risk of being labelled a Paul-tard, a Paulite, or heaven forbid a "selective libertarian" I will publicly endorse Ron Paul for ANY damn thing he runs for. I drive my RP bumper sticker with pride.

And just cuz I love me some lolz,

"I'm seeing that she doesn't like going to the Vet....."

Finally Non? Several months ago I had an appointment with a "doggie communicator." Brandy and Casey had done it with Serena and some interesting things came out so with all of Cecilia's medical issues in September I wanted to know what she would say. First off there were very few things that seemed eerily right on. A lot that could be guessed by logic and even more that was completely off base.

First thing she says is "where is the little black dog?" Implying that Cecilia is thinking of this dog and wondering where it is. I do not know of a little black dog. She goes on to say that she thinks it i a Yorkie just darker than Cecilia. Hmmm, even more Nope!

This appointment was a few weeks after Cecilia's surgery and I told her that the surgery had happened and that I wanted to know what she had to say about what was wrong. So throughout the appointment she kept saying that she was seeing all of these medical things, she kept talking about an issue in her intestines. Perhaps a kink in an intestine? Things are flowing much better in her digestion. She can swallow easier. Puss or Mucous in the stomach? I ended up telling her what was wrong with Cecilia and she then attempted to connect the things she had said previously to the liver.

A lot of the appointment was filler comprised of her talking about Cecilia needing good stomach flora and nutritional issues that could use attention. She talked a lot about MY nutrition as well. Apparently my "guides" were telling her that I had immune system issues, my blood system needed to be cleared, I am missing even more Stomach Flora then Cecilia and I may possibly have an issue with my Appendix. That I needed to eat lean meats and leafy greens. Also my guides are pointing me to a profession in the medical field. All humans have 2-5 guides that are with us our entire lives. Crap! I forgot to ask whether any of mine were single.

It was an hour appointment so I can't go over everything so here are some of the things that were interesting to me.

1. "Do you chew food and then give it to her?" Hmmm. Kind of...It was a routine before Cecilia was sick that on the way to work we stopped at the gas station for a Diet Coke and I would get her a hot dog. She could/would not bite the hot dog directly and I would bite off pieces and them give them to her. Apparently she was missing that. We had to stop as soon as I found out she was sick. (this was more impressive to me until she added that she does the same with her Yorkie)

2. "Cecilia wants you to sing again." Hmmm. I sing alot. To myself or at home, not in public or anything. I love to work late at night when nobody else is in the office and just belt out terrible singing. When she said this I realized that when Cecilia got sick I had stopped singing. Apparently Cecilia wants me to sing again because it makes me happy. Honestly I just assumed that I was annoying the hell out of her all the time.

3. "Where is she seeing the Easter Eggs?" Hmmm...What the hell? She says Cecilia is describing Easter Eggs and wants to find them and get one in her mouth. I wrote this one off as nothing until later that night. I had been thinking about it and asked Anna if there had been any Easter Eggs around the house. Apparently they had been cleaning out a bunch of storage areas and Nina had found some Easter Eggs and was playing with them.

4. "She is describing you having headaches or tightness in your forehead." Hmmmm... Is my scar really that visible? I had a bump form on my forehead that was an vein/artery malformation and had terrible headaches for many months. Enough so that I had a hard time getting to work. I ended up having a procedure on my forehead to fix it which completely helped the headaches. I have a scar on my forehead and am trying to figure out if this was deductive reasoning. She says Cecilia was talking about how both of us were having medical issues.

Really what came out of it all is that I NOW know that Cecilia wants to eat mashed potatoes, is attracted to masculine energy, really wants to catch a butterfly in her mouth and of course she loves me a lot.

Which tastes better? Turkey or Sleeping?

Fo' So' the answer is sleeping. Generally on weekends I am in my pajamas from the minute I walk in the door from work on Friday until the minute I walk out the door for work on Monday. With the exception of 3 hours on Sunday and I am looking into some silky pajamas that could pass for dress pants to avoid that inconvenience. So the super long weekend was all kinds of awesome-ness. I had to get dressed quite a few times to go to the hospital with Bev and for the first hour that the guests were over for the Turkey eats but the increased pajama time was heavenly.

Mom Bev had her second knee replaced and is well on her way to becoming a bionic woman. She was in the hospital over Thanksgiving and thrilled to be there. I am glad she was there as well since there is no way we could have kept her in bed if there was cleaning up to do.

On Sunday we discovered that there was no water. Nothing. Apparently there was some prepared answer the city gave out for the inconvenience. When the water started to come back it was a lovely shade of orange. It was like we had hit the orange juice jackpot.

We were washing the dishes with bottled water. Very eco-friendly. But ask anyone at my work, I am nothing if not environmentally conscious. (snicker, snicker, snicker). So check me out, an entire post without my dog mentioned once. Oh...oops. BTW due to the 50% of readership desire (2 of 4) I will make a post about Cecilia's visit with the doggie psychic. I just have to find a tape deck to re-listen to the session to ensure I remember all the goods.